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One of the greatest causes for conflict in marriage are contradicting core values.I’d describe core values as beliefs that are fundamental to how you are wired, guiding your actions, thoughts, plans, and purpose on this earth.Sure we’re not our parents and we can work to change our communication habits.However, for many of us our fallback communication plan will be the one our parents laid out for us.Is the person you’re dating like a magnet trying to bring the best of you to the surface?Or are they trying to bury you under a pile of dirt?When I was dating I remember constantly being smothered with that giant question like a bloated bear was sitting on my head, refusing to move. But how are you supposed to know which “One’ is the right one?
And the test will come like a train on a dark and stormy night! I first asked this question in , and I think it boils down to this: Is their love based on YOU or is their love based on THEM? Your partner can look and smell like a rose, and yet continue to prick you with their sharpened barbs.
Thankfully, my wife has been very supportive because she knew this was the way I was wired from the beginning and it aligns with her core beliefs, as she enjoys change and pursuing things off the beaten path.