Asking and wanting to learn to accept ADHD as real is Healthy and as an ADHDer I am delighted to see U on the board.
Both people have to work to make a successful relationship, and he may be a 'darling' of a bf ' fiancee ' or future hubby,but realize that for quite a while you may have to do a lot of the work on scheduleing and damage control for being late to parties, appointments,etc.
We are - as said by others here - a forward talking and shoot-from-the-hip group.
Everyone wants to help - but sometimes they say things in a way that seems a bit abrupt or odd if you don't have ADHD.
whatever, there is no certainty that he will not forget or be late...
"Understanding" can be misconstrued as "wanting to control".
Just check in with me- we'll work out what comes next for you two!
For others, the case may be more severe and they may have more obvious symptoms they need to manage.The only time i am hyper-attentive is when the relationship is brand new.As ADHDers are thinking of many things, jumping from one thing to another, I am not surprised you are wondering! Even if you fix a time on a particular day to meet and spend time to gether, Meal, Movie...He most likely loves you a lot - but is totally paralyzed by entropy and anxiety. I think with some information and perspective - you can make the good decisions and know for yourself what to do.
I hope that this type of forum hasn't scared you off.
Anxiety is also a very common trait in individuals with ADHD.