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The first was with a classmate from my predominantly white high school.
The next two were also Ohio boys with whom I had mutual friends and a past.
Once I trust someone, I open up about my background and life as a Chinese-American woman.
I want them to understand how it has shaped every aspect of who I am, but also doesn’t define me or reduce me to anything less than a full person.
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They all managed to white-splain Chinese or Asian culture, whether in the form of travel stories, pop culture, anime, or tales of the Asian communities they immerse themselves in while simultaneously putting me on a pedestal for, well, just being Asian. I only got into them because I was not fully aware, at first, that I was being fetishized.