Body dating language nonverbal
We often hear about verbal statements that are taken out of context and in this same way, we can take nonverbal language out of context as well.
“The guy was obviously lying, he was scratching his face and neck and could barely sit still” might be accurate when being grilled by a panel of the media over missing fund money, but in the context of being attacked by a swarm of killer bees, not accurate at all!
It refers to the “normal” motions that populate the repertoire of each and every person on the planet. We can’t even begin to read someone until we first have their baseline pegged.
For example, to read someone that is normally flighty and constantly moving as agitated, is wrong since they are merely acting out their particular “idiosyncratic nonverbal behaviour.” That is, the body language that is particular to specific people and that makes up their repertoire, or basket of cues, considered normal for them.
Find out how a person usually comports themselves and if possible in more than one situation.
Sports groups, riot officers, firemen, and a myriad of occupations all wear the same uniform. My rule of thumb on “macrogestures”, the big stuff, like arm and leg crossing, is to picture people nude.
That is, honest words match up with honest body language.
A child with their hands in their pockets (dishonest gesture) speaking about how they didn’t steal a cookie is incongruent since their body language does not match their verbal language.
Concluding that someone is cold hearted from a single meeting is another case of ignoring context.
We often think people are shy after a first meeting, but are surprised when over time they open up and are actually quite expressive and talkative. Get to know a person to discover their “baseline.” A “baseline” is the set of nonverbal mannerisms that a person will use when relaxed.
When full mirroring appears it is as if each person is looking into the mirror and seeing their reflection. Mirroring or “isopraxis” is as important to lifelong friends as to strangers meeting for the first time, since mirroring is a way to test and maintain the level of rapport, or connectivity being established, between two people or groups of people.