Consequences of dating too young
In other words, having supportive friends and family could be particularly useful for age-gap relationships. Whether having a biological child or adopting, parenting in your 20s or early 30s could feel different from parenting in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, and couples would benefit from being on the same page about whether parenthood should be in their future. Age gaps can create challenges for retirement planning. It’s not easy when one person is thinking about short-term fun while the other has long-term ambitions.
suggests to “plan for the younger partner,” which in some circumstances can mean delayed retirement for the older spouse. Such incompatible relationship goals are not unique to age-gap relationships; however, certain age-related factors could play a part in goals.
What you have to realize there are many very different reasons for age-disparity relationships.
For example, in the case of middle-aged men marrying younger women, it's not unusual for it to be a marriage that broke up because the wife went into menopause and lost all interest in intimacy, while the husband is still vigorous and youthful, and he hooks up with a younger and emotionally mature woman who is sick and tired of immature men her own age who don't have a job and still live in his parents' basement entertaining himself with video games and porn. Again, this is only to say that each of these circumstances involve UNIQUE matches.
In other words, if the courtship is long because one or more partners is concerned about the long-term stability of the relationship, then long courtships = not so good.
But, if the courtship is long because both partners want to wait to marry for practical and well thought out reasons, then long courtship = probably good. Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships.
Rather, you’re waiting because you’re both young and there’s a lot of life ahead of you.
Couples negotiate all sorts of differences as they figure out if they can form a sustainable, happy relationship.In age-gap couples, men are more apt to have a younger than an older spouse, with 10 percent having a spouse who is six-to-nine years younger, and 5 percent marrying a woman 10 or more years younger.Women show the opposite trend, with only 2 percent marrying men 6-9 years younger and only 1 percent having a spouse 10 or more years younger. If it seems like men who remarry often go for younger women, well, it’s not far from reality (Pew Research Center, 2014).Couples who cohabit prior to marriage because they want to ‘try things out’ often adopt this approach because they already see some potential problems with long-term compatibility.
It should come as no surprise then that these types of relationships are less than stable if they transition into a marital relationship (in fact, it’s very likely that this ‘group’ of cohabiters contributes a large degree to the finding that premarital cohabitation is bad for marriage).
We are both still young and plan to get married eventually in the future. N.; I am presuming that when you ask about downsides of long-term relationships you are referring to whether or not the length of a premarital relationship (what researchers and your grandparents refer to as “courtship”) affects marital outcomes if and when the couple marries. Short, or accelerated, courtships are a risk factor for poor marital outcomes, including divorce (i.e., “the quicker they rise, the harder they fall”).