Dating a man with abandonment issues
Before I get into the reasons why they're so afraid, let me first address the question of whether men are more afraid of relationships than women.
The debate about whether men and women are extremely similar or extremely different doesn't seem to go away, and it's largely because we have little way of proving much within the psychological arena.
Dan Jenkins, a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology at Point Loma Nazarene University, notes that, “Infants are born with constant recurring needs, and if those basic needs are met they grow up to understand what it means to build relationships based on trust.
If the infant’s mother is largely emotionally absent, then the child does not learn to internalize a healthy representation of attachment to his mother, and later in life, to other people.” But sometimes the flow of a mother’s love and emotional connection is interrupted, cut off, or non-existent.
Or, alternatively, they are avoided and devalued, once an idealized woman proves to be untrustworthy, and they are thereafter perceived to be always absent.
Men who experience emotional wounding in their relationships with their mother can be ambivalent toward women. They can fixate on feminine objects of desire in order to fill the deprivation of mother love.
God says, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you” (Isaiah ). He can comfort us and help us to forgive our parents and to find our true identities in him.
He can reverse, redeem, and create new life in our marriages and in all our relationships. Christian counseling can assist in the healing process by providing a setting in which you can discover and understand the wounds of your past and their continuing impact in the present.
To give some context, the media is always reporting about the different ways boys and girls are socialized, and many of us see such gender-restrictive parenting among folks within our social circles.
If you are open to the possibilities of healing and of living a larger life with those you love in your relationships today, I or one of my colleagues welcome the opportunity to talk with you.“Mother and Tot,” courtesy of gridkid, pixabay.com, CC0 Public Domain License; “Mother and Son,” courtesy of jenny2dance, Pixabay,CC0 Public Domain License; “Mother and Teen,” courtesy of Klappe, pixabay.com, CC0 Public Domain License.
Generalization caveat: Not all men are afraid of relationships, but many men are terrified of them.
In the previous article, I focused on the impact of a son’s relationship to his father, while this article focuses on a son’s early relationship with his mother.
From infancy, every child needs the tender touch, attention, comfort, nurture, and love of a mother.
Sons are impacted by their fathers in profound ways, especially with regard to their sense of competence and confidence.