Getting back into dating after a long relationship
"You don't want to be out there with no intent other than to get your ex off your mind," she says."The reality is, other people are looking for something serious, and they're not going to get it with you." This doesn't mean you have to go into detail with these people about your past, but you should at least mention if you aren't looking for something serious at the moment.He uses the same exact line on every woman he matches with, and brings each date to the same exact wine bar.It seems to work, but none of the dates amount to anything beyond a one-night stand, perhaps because Dev is still hung up on his ex."Logistically, it feels strange, and you want to fill that hole," Dr. "They're looking for a facsimile or just the exact opposite of their partner," she says.Even if you find someone who's happy to act like a pseudo-partner at first, expecting them to be just like your former partner is going to result in "undue expectations" for that person, Dr. "You have a lot of swirling feelings during this time, so it's usually more of a reaction to that than an actual connection with someone who works for you," she says.You owe it to yourself to have some alone time, according to Dr. As difficult as it is when you're fresh out of a partnership, spending time alone can allow you to reassess what you want and need from a partner, she says.
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin.
Getting back into the dating scene after being in a relationship can be tricky.